The memories of our past tends to have a contradicting effect on our nostalgia. As much as our photographs from younger days brings us joy, so much so our thoughts and words from bygone days tend to make us cringe.
Five years ago, on January 1, 2016, I wrote two collection of words that I hesitate to call “poems”. They made me flinch a bit when I read them today, but here they are. Read at your own risk. Remember, I warned you in advance.
Prayer From A Washroom
During my brief stint
As a janitor in a shopping mall,
I called dibs on the Handicap Washroom every morning
Makes sense statistically, if you think about it.
And on most days, I said a prayer:
“Let no one be born this day, that needs to use this washroom”
It was a very selfish prayer.
Or maybe not.
— — — — — — — — — — — —
An Evening Alone With Words
And that’s what it was -
January 1, 2016.
And the day after.
A book, and a pen, and a diary.
“Without hope and without despair”
I wrote that down in my diary.
The light falling on the glossy book cover
Like glimmering stars on a still river.
I think of van Gogh
On the shores of River Rhone.
Alone.
Stars
Shimmering on the water
Stick boats seeming more alive than
The floating couple -
The couple seem like a last minute addition —
a final stroke to a finished painting,
Like Man
Created on the last day,
When everything else was
Done and Dusted.
To dust He will return
Like Vincent.
Asleep.
To be Resurrected by Don McLean.
The girl who told me about the song
Was at a coffee shop
When I first met her.
She had green eyes
And piano fingers
And a friend who loved Hemingway.
“What d’you think it means?”
She asked.
“Not that song, the other one — American Pie”
I looked into her eyes
And said nothing
It probably meant
Goodbye.
I press my lips to the enameled rim of china -
The coffee is cold.
It is time to leave.
I make one change though,
Final touch to a finished poem
“With hope and with despair”
That is how my days will be
And that is how I want them to be.
— — — — — — — — —
To listen to the song, Don McLean — Vincent ( Starry, Starry Night)